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| Author | Topic: May 1 Concert |
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 Jean
Registered User
Registered:
6/7/2003 | posted: 5/8/2006 at 3:01:00 PM ET
Re: the home video made by "RJProductions"
You know, I really don't want to start a big discussion here, but I feel very strongly about something, so I simply must comment. I'll preface by saying that clearly the speaker is a fan; the video is well put together, although it's clear that the speaker is not a performer.
Some of his words are slurred and generally he is hard to understand. Probably turning down the background music and speaking more slowly would help.
Now:
at about 1:39 in the video, the off-camera person doing the interview says something like "how come she's not wearing her wedding ring"; the on-camera speaker says "it would be in bad taste."
====
I am offended by that statement. I know it is the speaker's opinion, and he is entitled to his opinion. However, I find the statement insensitive, and bordering on offensive, and, frankly, ignorant of the ways of the adult world.
Bad taste would be to criticize another's grieving process, however that person sees fit to grieve. Should a widow or widower choose to wear their wedding ring FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, that is not bad taste, it is respect for the deceased and respect for the marriage committment.
|  moljul
Registered User
Registered:
4/2/2001
From:
New York
Fav. BP CD: I'll Be Your Baby Tonight
Fav. BP Song: Dublin Lady
| posted: 5/8/2006 at 3:07:11 PM ET
Jean, Couldn't agree more. It was an insensitive remark.
"I'm one star away from Dolly Parton ... and Raymond Massey is between us. I hope we don't suffocate him." Bernadette Peters receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, April 24, 1987
|  Christine-NYC
Registered User
Registered:
3/23/2002
From:
New York City
Fav. BP Song: With So Little to be Sure Of
Fav. BP Show: Gypsy
Fav. BP Character: Marie (insert last name) lol There's a few
Fav. BP CD: Bernadette Peters Loves Rogers and Hammerstein
| posted: 5/8/2006 at 3:29:54 PM ET
I understand where you're coming from, but personally I am not offended by what he said. I heard quite a few people saying the same things about her ring in conversation. People are going to have differeing views. Should she wear it? Should she not wear it? Others are not going to care either way. I say whatever she needs or wants to do is what's right for her, and as one of her supporters I respect whatever decision for whatever reason.
If this person had been interviewing Bernadette or her family and friends, then yes I would think it's an innapropriate question; but this was just his thoughts about different things during and after the concert. I don't think his intenstion was to be disrespectuful or anything.
<3CMH<3
| moljul
Registered User
Registered:
4/2/2001
From:
New York
Fav. BP CD: I'll Be Your Baby Tonight
Fav. BP Song: Dublin Lady
| posted: 5/8/2006 at 3:33:57 PM ET
Christine, I applaud your diplomacy but his comment is stating that he thinks if Bernadette wore her ring, it would "be in bad taste". That is not for him to decide. No one has the right to comment positively or negatively how Bernadette morns or deals with her loss. I wouldn't want someone to pass judgement on me in a similar situation and I doubt the guy would want someone to tell him how he should act or what to wear after he has experienced such a loss. I just find the comment tacky and insensitive. Just my thoughts.
"I'm one star away from Dolly Parton ... and Raymond Massey is between us. I hope we don't suffocate him." Bernadette Peters receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, April 24, 1987
| Christine-NYC
Registered User
Registered:
3/23/2002
From:
New York City
Fav. BP Song: With So Little to be Sure Of
Fav. BP Show: Gypsy
Fav. BP Character: Marie (insert last name) lol There's a few
Fav. BP CD: Bernadette Peters Loves Rogers and Hammerstein
| posted: 5/8/2006 at 9:54:33 PM ET
The funny thing is, I wonder if anyone would have said anything had she been wearing her ring? I doubt (and I hope) that the person in that video would not have said, "Oh, she's still wearing her ring. How tacky."
I think maybe he said it would have been tacky to wear it BECAUSE she wasn't wearing it. I don't know if that makes any sense. Like he was just voicing his opinion in a way that he thought was being supportive.
I'm not really trying to defend this guy. I don't even know him. I'm just trying to look at it from a less defensive standpoint.
<3CMH<3
| Scottie
Registered User
Registered:
3/6/2006
From:
Edinburgh, Scotland | posted: 5/9/2006 at 6:08:57 AM ET
I hope I understand this and am not going off half-cocked on this subject but I saw this video the day it went out on this man's blog and though the background noise makes it difficult to hear everything that is said I am pretty certain that the speaker in front of the camera is in fact admonishing his friend behind the camera for asking the question about the ring. To my ears what he says is "you can't ask that - it's in bad taste" .
as Bernadette says....just keep moving on.....
| Karen
Registered User
Registered:
5/3/2002 | posted: 5/9/2006 at 9:14:27 AM ET
Perhaps we should invite the videomakers to come here and participate in a round table discussion of their many, still elusive, meanings and connotations. There is still so much left to explicate in this complex and ambiguous aural/visual text. Their purposeful obscuring of the soundtrack in order to provoke contradictory and mutually exclusive interpretive readings was a brilliant strategy of transgression.
| Karen
Registered User
Registered:
5/3/2002 | posted: 5/9/2006 at 10:56:46 AM ET
At this point I think the thread has become too long to post on without technical problems. So if anyone has more to say, I think they need to start a new one.
| moljul
Registered User
Registered:
4/2/2001
From:
New York
Fav. BP CD: I'll Be Your Baby Tonight
Fav. BP Song: Dublin Lady
| posted: 5/9/2006 at 11:00:11 AM ET
I'll add my thoughts on, Karen. Scottie and Christine, you are both probably right and I (and possibly Jean) misunderstood him. I hope so because the comment as I heard it was rude. But the sound is awful and any one of your explanations could be the one.
"I'm one star away from Dolly Parton ... and Raymond Massey is between us. I hope we don't suffocate him." Bernadette Peters receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, April 24, 1987
| Karen
Registered User
Registered:
5/3/2002 | posted: 5/9/2006 at 1:04:06 PM ET
It's working again. For a while it was stalled. Maybe that's just happening when a new page needs to be started on a very long thread.
|  Kevin
Site Administrator
Registered:
11/19/2000
From:
South Jersey
Fav. BP CD: Sondheim, Etc.
Fav. BP Song: No One Is Alone
| posted: 5/9/2006 at 10:44:36 PM ET
Threads should be able to be of arbitrary length. Slowness can happen because of the hosting environment, but if what you see on the screen is wrong (like messages missing or inaccessible) let me know so I can take a snapshot of the database and fix it.
-Kevin
Webmaster of Bernadette-Peters.com
| Anonymous
Anonymous Poster
From Internet Network:
66.192.202.x | posted: 5/24/2006 at 12:37:26 PM ET
Hey folks, I'm the creator of the video and I in no way shape or form meant that it was bad taste that bernadette wasn't wearing her wedding ring. It's such a sensitive subject and I avoided the question by saying it was a untastful question. Hope I didn't upset anyone by it!! Enjoy the flick.
| moljul
Registered User
Registered:
4/2/2001
From:
New York
Fav. BP CD: I'll Be Your Baby Tonight
Fav. BP Song: Dublin Lady
| posted: 5/24/2006 at 12:46:32 PM ET
Thanks for your post, Anon. I appreciate you confirming what you said or at least meant. 
"I'm one star away from Dolly Parton ... and Raymond Massey is between us. I hope we don't suffocate him." Bernadette Peters receiving her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, April 24, 1987
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