Topic I know this may sound corny from the General Chit-Chat forum.
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| Author | Topic: I know this may sound corny |
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 bernadettefosse
Registered User
Registered:
10/3/2005
From:
Los Angeles | posted: 10/3/2005 at 11:25:32 PM ET
Hey, Ok so I am new here. But I am just so glad that you guys are doing this, and are doing the scrapbook, and posting messages, as am I. For some of my friends think I'm psycho for how I reacted to the news of Michael's death. but frankly Bernadette has touched us all so deeply by her career and amazing talents, and how kind and generous she is. And all of us who have met her and seen her numerous times in different things, it's just the way it is. We hate to see someone we love suffer, and though I don't know her personally I am saddened by this loss, as are you. YOu might hate me for posting this but I'm just relieved that we all feel this way and my heart goes out to all of you, I hope I don't sound corny, and yes I'm new to this site, but i've followed her career for many years, and I'm just happy to be able to vent to people. And I just feel so bad for her and my heart goes out to her, and unfortuantely my comp sucks, so it keeps not letting me post on her site. Ok im done.
|  MsPetersFan1
Registered User
Registered:
6/25/2002
From:
Long Island, New York & Boston, | posted: 10/3/2005 at 11:34:31 PM ET
Bernadettefosse-
I feel exactly the same way. Bernadette has been such a major part of my life, such a major influence for the past 4 years that I can't help but grieve and cry with her. She has touched us in ways that other people would not understand. My mother for one, thinks its ridiculous that I should care so much for someone I don't know. But I feel, that I do know Bernadette in a distant way. And in my personal opinion, I think society needs to start caring for each other again. Bernadette may not be family and she may not be our friend, but her music has been there for us in our times of need and I find it perfectly natural to care a lot about her for that. We don't ever want to see those we care about in pain.
~* Megan *~
| jmslsu01
Registered User
Registered:
6/9/2003
From:
northern VA | posted: 10/3/2005 at 11:42:54 PM ET
Hello, and welcome to the board. I wish it could have been under better circumstances.
You said your friends think you are "psycho" for reacting the way you are. Here's what I think, and you may tell me that I am completely off if it is true.
First of all, it's okay to feel angry, sad, depressed, etc even if you didn't know him. Death is an uncomfortable subject under any circumstances, but when we hear about such an unexpected and violent death, some things may come to the surface. You may think you are reacting primarily to the news at hand, but I would bet that you are also reacting to something underneath the current.
(Breaking this up so it's easier to read.)
For example, you may be wrestling with your own feelings of mortality. If a young, healthy, attractive man in his prime can die, than that means that anyone of us can die too, at any time, without having the chance to set things in order, to say goodbye, to do whatever we've been wanting to do before we go.
You may unconsciously be bringing up unresolved issues about another person's death. Death is always a sad event for the survivors. However, is there anyone here who has not been affected by the death of a young person-a high schooler killed in a drunk driving accident, a college student's suicide, the death of a young mother, for example. Do you remember September 11th? Were you sad for like, a day or two, then were "over it?"
No, for that brought up unresolved and new issues for the entire nation! Americans are not invincible. Not everyone is in love with America. Those tapes of the people on the plane calling their loved ones, the fire chaplain who died praying....again, sudden deaths of many young people full of life and love. That is not something we want to think about. If we think about death, we want it to be when we are old and on our own terms. Events like this remind us that death is something not really on our own terms, and how unsettling that is...it really throws us, and sometimes it throws us hard.
It doesn't have to be someone you are very close to. Going back to the death of a teenager-this will affect everyone in the school, to varying degrees, of course. But it affects everyone.
She had the locker right next to me. He was in my study hall. We were on the cheerleading squad. We worked together. She was a friend of a friend. And so on.
If you have any unresolved issues about another person's death, something like this may bubble it to the surface. You may not realize it, but that may be the case, while you are questioning why you are so affected by someone you never even met. That's not uncommon. Michael's death will never ever not be a sad thing. And if you have lived so long as to be able to post on a message board and not have experienced a loss-and it doesn't have to be a catastrophic loss, for the loss of even an elderly grandparent is a change in a person's worldview-you are an unusual person.
And there is always the question of why and why this person. She was going to go to medical school. He had just proposed to his girlfriend. She was such a nice person to everyone, you never heard anything bad about her. And there are so many mean and horrid people out there who are living, why she? Why him? Questions like that are normal.
If you continue to feel very sad, and you continue to think about it, you may want to seek professional help. There is no shame in finding a trained, understanding professional. As with death, there are people few and far between-at least in the Western Hemisphere-who have not sought counseling or at least know someone who has sought counseling. I'm thinking that you are young, and in school. If you don't feel comfortable going to your school counselor if you have one, find a hotline, somewhere else to turn to. If you need suggestions, PM me. I have training in counseling and I am also a librarian, so I can find you something, I'll bet. Journaling helps. I've been reading poetry recently, because I have had some major upheavals in my life recently and can't really concentrate on anything narrative!
And if you feel like you do, and again, feel weird for doing so for "someone I've never met," then try to acknowledge any unresolved and/or lingering emotions you have about a death or any relationship that was suddenly cut off, like the divorce of one's parents, a friendship, whatever. Other circumstances that seem to have absolutely no connection with the other may bring such emotions to the surface.
Again, this is just my thinking, and anyone is most definitely free to disagree.
Boy, a lengthy post. And rambling. But what else is new from me?
Jenn
| bernadettefosse
Registered User
Registered:
10/3/2005
From:
Los Angeles | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:00:38 AM ET
Thanks MsPetersFan1. I think my feelings about this sad event, are what was FIRST mentioned by Jen, that any of us can die, or lose someone close to us at any minute. You never know, there are so many things that can happen to us or others that can take lives. It's so important to tell those we love that we love them and i think that that's what is, though i don't think i need professional help but thank you for your long entry and suggestions. I personally believe that it IS that Bernadette has influenced my life so greatly that for her or anyone to go through this pain is tragic. Much love to all.
|  Rose
Registered User
Registered:
9/28/2003
From:
NY
Fav. BP Song: No One Is Alone and Some People
Fav. BP Show: Gypsy
Fav. BP Character: Rose/The Witch
Fav. BP CD: Gypsy
| posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:01:19 AM ET
I am so glad someone finally said something like this. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling that way.
"Oh no, you won't. No, not a chance. No arguements, shut up and dance." -You'll Never Get Away From Me
"And if it wasn't for me then where would you be Miss Gypsy Rose Lee?" -Rose's Turn
| MsPetersFan1
Registered User
Registered:
6/25/2002
From:
Long Island, New York & Boston, | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:26:42 AM ET
Jenn,
I appreciate such a long response. It definitely makes me think more about where certain feelings come from.
~* Megan *~
| Karen
Registered User
Registered:
5/3/2002 | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:31:12 AM ET
bernadettefosse, no, you don't sound at all corny. Your post was wonderful. Thank you.
And Jenn, thank you too, a million times over. What you said was more true than anything I've read. I really needed something like that. Everything you said hit home.
| bernadettefosse
Registered User
Registered:
10/3/2005
From:
Los Angeles | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:38:27 AM ET
I agree, thanks Jen, I think we all our just very shocked by this. Hugs and thanks to all of you.
| jmslsu01
Registered User
Registered:
6/9/2003
From:
northern VA | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:51:48 AM ET
The mention of professional help wasn't meant to sound like I thought you were crazy. Please don't take it that way. I do know some are sensitive about any mention of counseling. I assure you I meant no judgement on you by mentioning it.
Oh, it's late and I still need to dry my hair. Goodnight, all.
Jenn
| bernadettefosse
Registered User
Registered:
10/3/2005
From:
Los Angeles | posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:56:33 AM ET
All is good Jen, thanks for your thoughts ahev a good night!
"I'm just a Broadway Baby working off my tired feet, pounding 42nd street, to be in a show.."
| BroadwayBabyGal
Registered User
Registered:
5/8/2003 | posted: 10/4/2005 at 2:52:09 AM ET
I think it's beautiful the way Bernadette's fans have come together like this. I just wish to God it was under better circumstances. I felt (and still feel) a loss. Bernadette takes us in with her heart, so we're bound to feel something. Of course it can't to begin to compare to what she's going through, but at least she is very far from alone.
~*Jessica*~
|  BleuTwinks
Registered User
Registered:
12/14/2003
From:
Arizona | posted: 10/4/2005 at 4:11:31 AM ET
Bernadettefosse, I can also empathize with you. I didn't tell any family or friends how I was affected by his death because they too would think I'm crazy. I understand how you're feeling because Bernadette, and my trips to NY which revolved around Gypsy and Broadway Barks are some of the happiest memories of my life.
Someone else on here mentioned that we unintentionally become attached to everyone in her world (husband, friends, assistant, etc) and that is so true. Especially for those of us who attend the events, probably a lot more so for others than me since distance keeps me from events. Bernadette and everyone that revolved around her were part of this beautiful, warm, safe, almost fairy-tale like world. At least that's how I experienced it. It was a wonderful place to go to avoid the harshness of reality. Even though I didn't know them personally, they meant a great deal to me, sometimes more than the people in my real life who just didn't get it or understand me.I know that's not the healthiest attitude but Bernadette is such a positive person that it doesn't matter if she knows you or not. She would always get it and accept everyone who crosses her path.
I'm sorry that I'm getting so far off topic, I"m really tired. I was just trying to share my experience that it's perfectly ok to grieve for someone you don't know personally. Jenn stated it much better 
I'm not one to be extremely vocal or publicly share my feelings. Instead I've been watching my tapes and remembering all of the happy and funny moments. Especially the Broadway Barks tape and Regis appearance. So hard to believe that was only 2 months ago...there are some hysterical moments at those 2 events that are now very bittersweet.
|  SingOutAnnie
Registered User
Registered:
8/23/2003
From:
Bradenton/Sarasota, FLA | posted: 10/4/2005 at 11:41:03 AM ET
Reading this post has really made me feel better. What compassionate people there are here, and I think that reflects back on Ms. Peters.
I felt shocked and saddened for Bernadette on hearing the news of her husband's death, but not emotionally. I too asked "why? why to this person?" This weekend, however, I finally got around to making a tape of "The Concert" from the two Sondheim etc CDs. When I heard "With So Little to Be Sure," I broke down and cried. That song, when Bernadette sang it in the Norfolk concert, really affected me because of the hurricanes and what's going on in my own life. Hearing it again, after the accident, I cried for her and for myself. There are some lines in that song I don't know how she could sing it again anytime soon. For me, it was a release of a lot of emotions.
|  Kevin
Site Administrator
Registered:
11/19/2000
From:
South Jersey
Fav. BP CD: Sondheim, Etc.
Fav. BP Song: No One Is Alone
| posted: 10/4/2005 at 12:59:29 PM ET
quote:
I think it's beautiful the way Bernadette's fans have come together like this. I just wish to God it was under better circumstances.
Ain't that the truth. When the news hit, the website was receiving more than 28x the normal traffic it usually receives. It's still very high.. over 15x "normal". Bernadette has a lot of people pulling for her.
-Kevin
Webmaster of Bernadette-Peters.com
| jmslsu01
Registered User
Registered:
6/9/2003
From:
northern VA | posted: 10/4/2005 at 1:30:42 PM ET
And Kevin, the site still runs beautifully. Lag time, site temporarily down-I haven't experienced any of that. A terrific job. That is a lot of traffic to deal with. I know I'm OT but I just wanted to say that.
Jenn
| bernadettefosse
Registered User
Registered:
10/3/2005
From:
Los Angeles | posted: 10/4/2005 at 3:43:37 PM ET
This is a great site, and such a great place for us all to come together at this tragic time, i'm so glad i joined.
"I'm just a Broadway Baby working off my tired feet, pounding 42nd street, to be in a show.."
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