| Author | Message: Theatre Humor - off topic | Posted by: StageTS
On: 4/30/1999 at 7:16:56 PM GMT
Message #: 1223
See headers | Hey guys,
I got this from my theatre teacher and thought you all might enjoy it.
Tim
THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR IN A THEATRE....
By the stage manager:
"It looks as though there'll be time for a third dress rehearsal."
"Take your time getting back from break."
"We've been ready for hours."
"No, I called that perfectly the first time -- let's move on."
"The headsets are working perfectly."
"The whole company is standing by whenever you want them."
By the director:
"Wow, the designers were right on, weren't they?"
"No, today is the tech rehearsal; we'll re-work that scene later."
"I think the scene changes are too fast."
"Of course I think we'll be ready in time for opening!"
"The crew? Why, they're just wonderful!"
By the designers:
"Of course all of my drawings were turned in on time!'
"Yes, it absolutely is my fault that the set looks awful."
"You know, you might have a point there."
"The director knows best; obviously I wasn't giving him what he wanted."
"The shop will have the costumes and props ready on time."
By the technical director:
"This is the most complete and informative set of drawings I've ever
seen!"
"No problem. I'll deal with that right away."
"I love the designers."
"It's a marvelous show."
"I don't need this many on the crew."
By the actor:
"Don't.....let's not talk about me."
"I really think my big scene should be cut."
"This costume is SOOO comfortable."
"No problem, I can do that for myself."
"Let me stand down here with my back to the audience."
"Without the crew, this show would never run. Let's thank them!"
By the stage crew:
"There's plenty of room for that over here."
"We'll get in early tomorrow to do it."
"No, no. I'm sure that's our job."
"Anything I can do to help?"
"Can we do that scene change again please?"
"I don't need this many people on crew."
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